Scott Wenzel, Scott "Godfather", Logan Garey, Corey Collier, Brett Kirby
How often do you get to have a great experience where you become aware of a life that you have not lived and are rather thankful that you don’t live it? Well, for the travel weary members of Team RioGrande and one member of Rock Racing we were able to have just this kind of experience. It took place about seven hours into our journey home from the ARK aka Arkanslaw or just Arkansas.
We were in need of some food and made the stop somewhere in rural Kansas just north of Oklahoma. We exited the highway with our burned out race eyes offering images to please our tastes buds after three weeks of racing and eating the same food everyday and night (I must say we ate very well on this trip, the team consists of guys with a rare talent for whipping up tasty viddles on the spot and our host family in Silver City was AMAZING!). The large booming signs that promise joy when eating which are visible from space had us in a tizzy. We were incapable to choose from so many great establishments like McDonalds, Burger King (Angry Whopper), KFC (new Grilled Chicken combo with mashed potatoes and a biscuit for $3.99. is that even legal?), The red haired angel in the sky known as Wendy’s, TacoBell and a few other local pig out spots like the CRACKER barrel.
We cruised the strip like typical youths from the area on a friday night with nothing better to do (or the only thing to do) than to show off their sweet rides and loud stereos. We are driving in one of the most pimped out vans to enter this town…
Joe getting his tire fix on. Super Sweet RioGrande Van
People couldn’t help but stare and wonder what kind of people we were. What kind of fantastic journey were we on and how in the hell did we get so lost as to end up in this backward town! We finally made the decision (after two U-turns from indecision) to go to Wendy’s. We knew she would be able to help us in this dire time of taste bud need. We entered the establishment and pondered the menu for about two minutes when I got this strange feeling. I need to back up and let you know that there were four of us on the return trip to Colorado. The travelers were ME (Logan Garey), Scott Wenzel, Corey Collier and Michael Creed from Rock Racing. Corey had taken a right as soon as we walked in to the Wendy’s to wash up and that left Scott, Michael and myself to drool over the tasty viddles that awaited us. Oddly enough as I was staring at the menu I was having a hard time finding something that appeared tasty enough to satisfy me and at about this point in my drooling confusion of dissapointment I felt something in the force. It was as if someone was leaving our group. At that very moment Creed was bolting out the door and saying over his shoulder that he was headed over to TacoBell but his words had barely escaped his mouth as the door was shutting. I was stunned. It happened so fast I didn’t know how to react and I turned to look at Scott, through his shock he was able to say “That just happened!”. Oddly enough those three words comforted me enough to allow us both to laugh and share the moment that was best described as, odd. Just as our laughter died down Corey came around the corner and gave us a look that only he can give with his lips turning up at the edges to show a bit of a thin smile and a face that reads “whats going on?”. So we entertain him with our recollection of the stunt that Michael just pulled and trust me it was a shifty stunt by a true pro. See, we had made a deal with Michael Creed that allowed him to travel back to Colorado with us on the condition that he bought us lunch. This is why we say he pulled a stunt. He was trying to evade his end of the bargain and not buy our lunch. The three of us looked into each others eyes and knew what was happening next. On to TacoBell!
So we walked, out the doors that Michael had escaped through and we were immediately onto his trail. Crossing the Wendy’s/TacoBell parking lot with ease in a scene out of the Seven Samurai intent to meet our fate head on in the line at TacoBell. We were too late. As we entered Tacobell the line to order was immediately visible and we were temporarily crushed. Michael was handing a female employee of TacoBell, the manager on duty (signified by the way she wore the headset with a sweet low slung belt that contained the battery to power her “POWER” and the orders that she would throw out to her minions) his wadded up, filthy, cheating, lying, villainous, paper scum money to pay for HIS meal. He too had felt the presence of something in the force and looked over his right shoulder as she took the money. His face contorted, his eyes glistened and the right side of his lips slid up to form a sly smile that wispered “you suckers”. Facing this defeat and knowing that turning around to travel the path that brought us here would only lead us to a place we had already known and discarded, we stayed. We get in line and stare up at the menu, the manager on duty (young woman with WAAAy too much makeup on, and clothes so tight they were painted on with her eye shadow. She did have a very fit looking figure given where she lived and her employer) asks us what we want and before we can answer her a local man comes striding in and bypasses the line and goes straight to the front. As the woman recognizes this man she immediately ask the question that will end up starting us on our path to non stop laughter.
Manager: So how is my favorite boy?
Line Cutting Local man with THICK rural crunchy accent: He’s still in jail. They aint released him yet…..
This provides us with instant laughter, I can’t and don’t have time to explain this in any other way except, some things should be kept a little more private. Especially when at work. Well the good times of this rural town don’t stop there because it seems that everyone in the TacoBell know this fella and they start explaining what happened.
Local Man 1: Well he didn’t mean to hit that girl.
Local Man 2: Ya, she just got in the middle of that fight with that other dude.
Manager: Thats a shame, he’s a real sweet heart.
Line Cutting Local: Ya, I called and talked to the officer and told him what happened but they aint listening!
Well talking about wanting to pee yourself from laughter because things just seem so strange and funny!
We actually get our crap together long enough to take up the managers time and try and order food. Scott knocks out his order like it was an answer to a test in highschool that he had written on his palm. Corey and I slow things down with the “hmm’s and uhhh’s” of decision making. We go back and fourth on getting the 10 pack of Tacos/burritos to split but in the end that is the decision that was made. We were supposed to get two burritos and the rest tacos but they gave us 10 tacos and Corey didn’t complain too much because he thought for sure he would be going back for more and he did.
Now the conversation between these locals had not stopped while we were ordering. It kept going and another employee of the TacoBell got in on the action. Now the conversation was turning to “War stories” of living in the rural town. As we found seats to sit back and enjoy our food we started to realize that with the price of our food and the decision to sit down and stay there to enjoy this meal we had been gifted a secret and free form of theater. The showing I believe was called “Stupidity. The acts of those who create the definition.” I am sure that there are several showings daily in this TacoBell but given that we were on a mission to return to Colorado we could only spare the time to see one showing. It was tempting, as Michael voiced “Holcrap! We should stay here all day, I don’t think we should try to get to Colorado too fast. There’s really no point, we would miss too much of this!” So the happy locals trade their stories and the TacoBell employee tells about his rendezvous with the law a few weeks back and how they gave him a sobriety test.
TacoBell Employee: The cop told me to stand on one leg with my head back and count to 10 but I told him I had knee surgery and couldn’t do it to try and get out of it but he made me do it on my other leg so I started counting. I got to two and I had fallen over! HA HAH AAHHHAHAHA .
Everyone (local): Laughing gayly!!!
Team RioGrande: LAUGHING and snorting!
Ohhh how AWESOME it is to realize that your life is really pretty good. The trip had a few more fun moments and Michael Creed enlightened us to the rigors of riding for Rock Racing which you will have to trust me on this, are, through his eyes quite funny and sometimes painfully sad.
Until the next time. I bid you farewell.
Logan
1 Comment
April 21, 2010 at 11:11 am
How about a cheesy joke? Little Johnny came home after spending the afternoon at the lot next door where a crew was building a new house, his mother asked him what he had learned while he was there….”Well,” he replied it is an f’ing bother when those f’ing idiots at the lumberyard send the wrong f’ing stock and every f’ing thing has to be returned. On top of that the f’ing plumber put the f’ing pipes for the f’ing sink on the wrong wall.”…”That is enough young man,” his mother interupted, you know you are not allowed to use that kind of language, “Just wait until your father gets home.”…When his father arrived home his mother told him about the kind of language his son had used….”That is disgusting,” his father scolded, “You must be punished, go and get me a switch from the backyard.”…Little Johnny replied, ” No way that’s the f’ing electricians job.”