Team Rio Grande

There is 6 inches of snow outside, so you can’t ride your bike. The only other Jewish people that you know are back in the homeland (New Jersey). All of your other friends are opening presents containing socks, sweaters, and iPods. What do Jews do on Christmas?

We get Chinese food

We go to the movies

You can also count all the money you saved by not buying presents for anyone! Tell yourself that it is because you’re Jewish, not because you don’t have any friends. Instead, invest that cash in some stock of Hebrew National hot dogs.

I have to go. My movie starts in an hour!